She's only gone and done it!
I've left my current job and some of you may well think I am completely barmy!😜
So what has made me take such drastic action you may ask?
YOU is the answer. Yes YOU!
As you may have guessed by now I am a passionate woman. No I'm not meaning in the romantic or 50 Shades of Grey sense but rather the in the force that drives me to help others, just like you.
For years I thought I was cursed to live a life of misery and hardship: never would I know true happiness and self-worth. I would have periods of 'coping', not necessarily happiness and then I would be struck down again with yet another episode of low mood and anxiety.
To make matters worse each episode dragged me even further into the abyss of fear and dread until I hit that place where life no longer matters. I wanted to get off the ride that was life and call it a day. So you see I can truly empathise with those who feel suicidal. I totally get it when you say you say what is there to live for? I am useless, a burden, a loser!
And yet here I am.
The memory of the pain and desperation is still so clear in my memory and my heart. Sometimes the flashbacks are so intense I find myself in tears or feeling a little fearful. Then I remind myself that this is my story and yet I am still here despite all that happened over the years. In fact not only am I still here but I am well. Very well!
It has taken me some time to realise what I could do with those desperate times. It took me time to heal and learn that those feeling and episodes were behind me. I needed time to overcome the anger and unfairness I felt. Why had I had to endure so much pain and others 'seemed' so happy? Why had my family had to watch me crumble? Why had my mother had to listen as I told the doctor I panned to end my life? Why? WHY? WHY?
As I began to heal and release the rage I began to see that maybe my experiences could help others. In fact whys turned into Maybes - Maybe my ability talk openly can be utilised? Maybe my story could empower others who are struggling? Maybe this is my purpose?
Recently I have shared parts of my story with the local community, hoping to raise awareness around mental health and the serious threat to life, suicide!
I'm not looking for fame and fortune. I am at long last serving others in a way that I love. Communities have change significantly since I was a child with family and friends living miles apart.
Help me make a difference and get in touch if you have any questions ,advice or experience that will enable me to put people first. People like you!