Updated: Nov 9, 2020
So here we are a few weeks since my last meds reduction and I'm ok.
I have recently started a new job which is taking me out of my comfort zone and for the first time in years I love it.
It's so easy to find your safe corner, with its safe routines and safe people and just stay safe. When you're in your 'safe' place you think you have control over life and you believe there will be no unexpected terrors to live in fear of. The trouble with 'safe' is that over a period of time and as you eliminate the unsafe stuff, your world gets smaller and smaller. You tell yourself 'if I just stay here I'll be ok'.
When you're in crisis this is ok but the temptation to stay in your corner can be too great and thus your world starts to shrink.
So for me I must be in a good place to take the chance on a new career. I actually found the thought exciting as well as a wee bit terrifying. It felt good, exciting, a challenge that for the first time in a long time I felt I could take on.
I have been extremely vigilant as far as moods go and have been dealing with what comes up when it comes up rather than anticipating it......if that makes sense..lol
I still right my joy diary every day and rate my mood from 0-10. this gives me a written record of moods and for a long while I've not been lower than an 8.
There was a time when it was never above 3. It's amazing what you can achieve when you start to believe. It really is.
The next reduction is in sight but for now I will stay put in my temporary safe place.
Love to all