HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So here's hoping you have made it through the festivities and are now contemplating what 2022 has in store for you.
I'm not one for resolutions although I will tell myself where I see me being this time next year. How do you feel about resolutions and do you stick to them?
Achievements
Now I'm not the bragging type but I will recognise what I have achieved rather than dwell on what I did not. Creating Mood Manager has allowed me to share with others a way of changing their perspective and, maybe, their lives. The idea for the book had been waiting to be put to use for a few years and lockdown provided me with the time to do it. Although mainly a diary, creating this self-help tool meant I went on a steep learning curve. I found myself often repeating things due to brain fog but I got there in the end. I'll admit that originally I was sweet talked into putting the prices high for profit but thankfully I remembered the reason 'why' I was doing this and dropped the pound signs from my eyes.
The passion that drives me to reach out to those who are struggling with their mental health has meant I have been interviewed by local papers and radio stations with even a brief chat on Radio Scotland. I would be lying if I said I took this all in my stride...I was nervous as hell. I have spoken to groups online offering hope and reassurance to those feeling lost and hopeless.
Last year also saw me take up a new job which has taken me out of my comfort zone many times.
Does this sound like I am bragging? I promise you I am not. Why do I know this? Because I am quite a shy and introverted person. Meeting new people can still bring out the nerves and self-doubt.
Who am I?
Well thanks to my fluctuating hormones/perimenopause I have not had the smoothest of rides this last year. GP's stopping and starting my HRT and a 6 month wait to speak with a Menopause Specialist has sometimes got me down. Down, tearful, fatigued, fat, achy, forgetful, unable to concentrate, breathless, sweaty and the beast that I really won't tolerate any more, Anxiety.
I have fought too hard and for too long to let this parasite back into my life. When I say anxiety, I am speaking of a hormonal anxiety, which seems quite different from the experiences I had earlier in life. This anxiety is physical. I am rarely mentally anxious when I notice that for some reason my heart is galloping along at racehorse speed. Another one is that my stomach does somersaults and I'm reminded of the morning sickness I experienced many years ago. Sometimes I feel hot and woozy but from what I have read this isnt a hot flush.
Light at the end of the tunnel
Hopefully, the end is in sight as my appointment with the consultant is near the end of January. The aim is that my HRT will be tweaked and I will be able to experience this new stage of life with the fierceness and energy the media wafts in our faces. I will be transformed from CBA (can't be arsed) to DILLIGAF(Do I look like I give a F*ck?)
There is no doubt in my mind that there are far too many people having to negotiate this stage of life WITHOUT the correct support. It is no wonder that suicide numbers increase in women (people who menstruate) as they go through menopause. Some are blessed and have little or no symptoms but there are many who battle through from day to day wondering if they will ever feel normal and happy again.
Before I sign off and take my brain fog for a wee snooze I shall end by mentioning Dr Louise Newson here in the UK. If you are looking for accurate and up to date advice Google this lady to find the information you need. Whatever you do, don't suffer in silence.....speak up and get some support.
Much Love
Cx
